I'm going to die

The idea of dying fascinates me.

I was sitting outside in the garden the other day watching my fat tubby cat trying to catch a squirrel and failing miserably (because it was too fat) and then I remembered my grandpa.

How he was when he was alive and how he was before he passed away.

Two completely different human beings.

One was caring, dependable and had more discipline than a Japanese soldier. 

A person who would go out of his way to find me a sturdy piece of wood and some ropes to make me a swing just because I wanted to feel like ;

 "perempuan main buaian dalam cerita bawang merah bawang putih tu".

The other one was a person who couldn't drink a single drop of water, a person who was too tired to carry himself up to go and pee or to pray. A person who would look at me and not even realize that I was his granddaughter. ( And I'm like his favorite okay! sheesh)

When he was alive and healthy, I would sit next to him on the couch and he would ask me to list down the pillars of Islam and I would just mutter a few to keep him entertained before slowly easing myself away from the conversation just so I could focus on what Meredith was doing in the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Even though he could tell that I didn't have any interest in hearing what he wanted to say (obviously I was a huge fan of the show and probably part Satan ) he kept on talking anyways. Mainly because he enjoyed chatting and also because he knew I would listen despite giving the less than enthusiastic response.

My grandpa would tell me how one day we would all die and end up in the dark grave all alone with only our deeds to accompany us.(That's how we Muslims roll)

 He would wonder out loud about what the afterlife would really be like and he would always end his one way chatter with the same thing.

He felt scared.

He was scared of what will happen after he dies. He was scared that his deeds will not be enough.

And now he is dead.

And one day I will die too. 

It's so fascinating to me.

I can't freeze myself.
 I can't send myself to Mars like the NASA experiment.
I can't break my soul into tiny little pieces and make Hocruxes and hide myself so Harry Potter can't find me.
 I can't pay people to keep me alive artificially forever and ever there is NO POSSIBLE WAY. (try and google this crap up, you will be disappointed)

Someday, a bunch of ladies will be washing me one final time, wrap me up in white cloth and place me in front of people who will then pray for me.

Someday a group of men will lower my neatly wrapped body in the ground, cover me up in soil and then I'll be buried in there forever and my mum won't be able to save me.

My grandpa was a religious person who would never intentionally miss a prayer. He was brave and kind and giving and yet he was scared to face death.

Where the heck does that leave me

Engagement and Port Dickson

It finally happened.

The moment we were giggling about in between classes in high school. That one topic occasionally creeping  into our conversations in the car on the way back from what used to be our single ladies mamak sessions.

My best friend got engaged!

Yup. Our dear old Juliekins scored her dream guy and is now officially the fabulous fiance of Mr. Lootify!

Looking like a Princess!

Aww

Pictures taken by Haniff Hazim Photography. 

A week after the engagement Binxy and I decided to kidnap Juliekins for our own mini vacation. 

It was to celebrate the engagement, her belated birthday, passing her finals and becoming a doctor, the ending of my chambering period in the legal firm (yes I'm done!) and to rescue Binxy out of her working slump.

We told her we were taking her to Terengganu for a trip to be one with nature and to eat Budu and it was going to be a long drive.

We lied. 

We brought her to Port Dickson instead.

We planned this trip a long time ago and when it finally arrived, it was safe to say that Binxy and I were extremely excited.

We kept on feeding lies to her and told her we were taking her to this fabulous glamping site with a lazy river and fancy tents with fairylights. 

It was kind of funny because she hates camping and anything to do with fluttering insects or nature.

To make it seem more believable we assured her that it would be an acceptable glamping site which would suit her style, with proper toilets , one where she wouldn't have to dig out a hole in the ground to shit in.

I look pregnant here but that is also okay.

It was really hot.

I guess we got a little caught up with our lies and the plan sort of backfired because when we arrived at the actual surprise destination which was Lexis Hibiscus in Port Dickson, she looked rather disappointed for a moment upon realizing that we were not going glamping afterall. 

HAHA.

Sorry bud!

That aside,the hotel was amazing!

I've been to Grand Lexis before which was also in Port Dickson and I personally thought that was  rather neat with the private pool and the set up of the chalets making the guests feel like we were part of a private beach community.

Lexis Hibiscus was just as breathtaking!

The room we got had two huge beds which was hilarious because the three of us could fit quite comfortably on just one bed if we wanted to but hey good for us. 

There was also a mini pool and a freaking sauna!!

 Jakun mode onz la what else.

Okay I should probably have taken a picture before we messed the place up eh.

Yeah I know, the pool was really tiny and the water was probably up to my waist and we even started laughing when we first arrived looking at the mere cute little size of it, but it was super fun regardless and was definitely big enough for three girls to at least rotate around with the floaties.

Unfortunately, we were unable to stay in the chalets on the beach but it turns out to be for the better because we got a room on the tenth (or eleventh) floor and it was overlooking the sea and we were able to see the formation of the hibiscus made from all of the chalets below.

I should really learn how to take better pictures

It was beautiful especially at night!

It felt like Vegas.

That evening we went to the market about 10 minutes away and bought yummy food to bring back to the hotel for dinner.

Tasted like childhood.

 All and all it was an extremely enjoyable trip. I'm so glad we were able to have that one ultimate sleepover.

It felt like I was back in high school, dancing away to good music, making lame jokes and eating good food with not much to worry about. I definitely miss that.

So extremely blessed :)

Ps. Congrats again Juliekins Bud!